Conjugal Life Turns Congenial after Seven Years of Marriage: Thanks to the CMC
January 01, 2017
Surali(name changed), aged 29, of Bishnupura VDC in Rupandehi district was married under cultural rituals to Murali( name changed), 30, of Bishnupura VDC some 15 years ago. They were married underage as per the then practice in the Tarai region where some communities leave newly-wed brides at natal homes under the care of parents. Therefore, Surali and Murali also lived separately for some years following their marriage. Upon completion of 7 years after marriage, their Gauna ( a ritual of brides’ entry into in-laws home formally) was performed.
Surali remained at in-laws home for about half a month after Gauna and returned to natal home. Thereafter, she occasionally visited natal home as allowed by in-laws and her husband. However, as days passed by, her family started to turn stricter and prohibited her from going to her natal-home. They started to blame that she left for the natal home without their permission. Overtime, her family started to neglect her, blame her with allegation of being incapable, ugly and vented their anger on her saying she did not bring any property to their family in marriage. She recollects the days she spent at that time and states that she did not want to live with the family, which did not care and count her rather inflicted torture incessantly. She says she tried her best to be assimilated with the family but in vain so decided to leave for natal home again and live there permanently.
Her parents and relatives urged her in-laws and husband to take her to the latter’s family and take care of her but their requests were ruled out. This widened the chasm between two families and sometimes they resorted to verbal abuses. So much so that their dispute even reached police office but remained as it was.
Surali’s eldest brother approached Area Police Office, Suryapura on 16 February, 2016 complaining of the torture Surali had been facing on the part of her in-laws’ family however, police referred her case to Suryapura CMC saying theirs was a domestic violence related dispute. Nilam Tiwari, the Coordinator of Suryapura CMC says her case was registered on 22 February and facilitated on the same day. Murali’s father was also present during the facilitation sessions as a stakeholder. After a long session, the disputing parties converged and reached agreement that Murali would have Surali’s citizenship certificate issued, Surali would discuss with family members before leaving for natal home or any other places, the family would well accept her as their family member and each family member would put their efforts towards making a congenial family environment.
On 19 November, 2016 a team of CeLRRd district team including VDC Secretary Tukraj Pandey made a follow up visit to their family. During the visit Surali said that several days after the agreement was reached, she returned to her home with her father-in-law and felt caring and loving environment. Family members seemed amicable each other and she also demonstrated respectful behavior towards family members. Surali’s father-in-law expressed happiness that he is happy with the reunion of his son and daughter-in-law. He said, ‘ I wish I could always find my son and daughter-in-law happy”. It was found out however that Surali’s citizenship certificate had not been issued yet. Murali assured the team he had been trying his best to have her certificate issued but had not been able to do so due to his business. He assured the team that he would have the one issued soon.
